I am a bit happy. I shouldn’t allow myself to jump up-and-down from happiness because if you are too happy, it tends to change. I have done two or three meditations every day since June 25. It’s a very solid start.
My morning meditations are going smooth. I started with 10min morning meditation and today I did 16min. It has been smooth. There isn’t superbly-calm, sky-like feeling at the end of meditation yet. But I feel calm- It will come. I feel it all building up.
My evening meditations went up and down. I started with 10 min, then dropped to 7 and 5min. There was no right effect. I couldn’t keep my focus enough, it was all too blurry. Most important: I didn’t feel relaxed as I should be after doing it. (yes, yes, there were also thought fighting in the evenings. It can disturb.) But now I am building it up from 5min. Yesterday I did 8min, and now it feels right. I feel deep relaxation, and I am calm after it. It’s very easy to fall asleep after doing it. Thoughts don’t come back. I don’t feel extra deep heaviness or me inside my body- it will come later. It builds up and feels right. It’s most important.
I did also backbone meditation. I do it quite fast now. I did it walking the street as well. It’s very handy to do it like that. especially being in a place where I have to be “top-notch” every single minute (just like in the Schetinin’s school) (See in blog)